Expat Life in Thailand
  • Home
  • Food / Drink
    • Food and Drink Thailand
    • Food and Drink Bangkok
    • Food and Drink Pattaya
    • Food and Drink Hua Hin
    • Food and Drink Chiang Mai
  • Health / Beauty
  • Education
  • Travel / Leisure
    • Book Reviews
    • Activities and Adventure
    • Hotels and accommodation
    • Art and Culture
    • Lifestyle
  • Online Magazines
Expat Life in Thailand
Banner
  • Home
  • Food / Drink
    • Food and Drink Thailand
    • Food and Drink Bangkok
    • Food and Drink Pattaya
    • Food and Drink Hua Hin
    • Food and Drink Chiang Mai
  • Health / Beauty
  • Education
  • Travel / Leisure
    • Book Reviews
    • Activities and Adventure
    • Hotels and accommodation
    • Art and Culture
    • Lifestyle
  • Online Magazines

My life in sex: the woman in recovery from sexual abuse

by The Guardian (Reprinted) June 15, 2020
written by The Guardian (Reprinted) June 15, 2020

Beginning with my rape at 14, sex has been a disturbing, sometimes violent and always unfulfilling experience. To the outside world, I have it together: a solid job I am good at, a caring ex-partner and two beautiful children. Yet, all my attempts at intimacy have been fraught with shame, secrecy and a lack of authenticity.

Most recently, I reconnected with an older man I met four years ago. I rebuffed his advances first time round; for reasons I am still unsure of, I pursued him this time. I thought the disclosure of my vulnerability and my history of abuse would ensure he would treat me respectfully and with care. I was wrong. The sex felt forceful and, during oral intercourse, I became so distressed that my bladder, weakened by childbirth, lost control and I wet the bed.

A week after our night together, he stopped initiating contact. Though my rational mind understands how unhealthy the experience was, the feeling of abandonment is strong.

What makes it worse is that, to my deep dismay, this is a pattern I keep repeating, seemingly ad infinitum. It is as though the abuse I experienced as a child has trapped me in this pattern I unwillingly recreate to my own detriment. I desperately want a fulfilling, safe, loving and intimate relationship. I would like to experience an orgasm with someone, something I have never achieved. My experience shows how difficult it is to recover from childhood abuse. I fear that I will never find what I am longing for.

Did you like this article? Become a Patron and help us bring you great content in the future!
0
FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
The Guardian (Reprinted)

previous post
7 year old daughter helps police prevent father’s suicide
next post
The secrets behind Bangkok’s Top 10 Rooftop Bars

Parenting expat kids

April 14, 2021

How to use conflict to strengthen your relationships

April 13, 2021

How to instill cultural identity in your child...

April 13, 2021

THE NEW NORMAL, ONE YEAR LATER

April 13, 2021

April-May 2021 Issue

Primary Banner

Promotion Image
Promotion Image
Promotion Image

EXPAT LIFE IN THAILAND FACEBOOK

Facebook

EXPAT LIFE IN THAILAND INSTAGRAM

Categories

  • Breast Cancer (2)
  • Education (271)
  • Expat Life (57)
  • Fashion (48)
  • Fiction (7)
  • Food and Drink (113)
  • Green (20)
  • Health and Beauty (296)
  • Interview (17)
  • Jobs & Internships (11)
  • Lifestyle (314)
  • Love and Relationship (92)
    • Family (59)
  • Magazine (16)
  • News and Event (549)
    • Updates (108)
  • NGO (25)
  • Poem (5)
  • Travel and Leisure (580)
    • Activities and Adventure (100)
    • Art and Culture (132)
    • Book Reviews (25)
    • Hotels and accommodation (76)
  • Uncategorised (63)
  • Women's Group (6)

Copyright @ 2021 - ExpatLife in Thailand Magazine | All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in articles posted on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Expat Life in Thailand magazine. Links to other web sites do not imply an endorsement of the materials disseminated at those websites, nor does the existence of a link to another site imply that the organisation or person publishing at that site endorses any of the materials at this site.