Seasoned Advice: How To Become A Thai Citizen

I am qualified to give advice to women living in Thailand. Not only have I lived here for almost fifty years, I am a Naturalised Citizen. I did it the hard way: I took each step of the way and filled all the qualifications to become a Thai citizen. As I intend to live in Thailand permanently, and as my Thai friends asked me why I didn’t become Thai, I thought, “I will just do that”.

It’s a long process. You must:

• Have lived in Thailand continuously, for at least five years before applying.
• Be a permanent resident.
• Be 18 years old or older and have reached legal majority in your country of origin.
• Be well behaved and have a good background (criminal record; political background; involvement with illegal drugs will be checked).
• Know the Thai language, including speaking, listening and understanding.
• Be able to sing the National Anthem Sanserm Phra Baramee and pass an interview in Thai conducted by government officers.

So I have done all that – it took me almost nine years – and I have Thai nationality. I speak Thai and I am involved in a number of Thai charities. I have worked at numerous jobs in Thailand and have enjoyed a full life here, so feel qualified to give new expats in Thailand some advice on what to do to enjoy living in Bangkok as much as I do. But it’s not only my Thai experiences that qualify me to give advice. My father was a civil engineer and he took jobs where people needed electricity and water. My older sister and younger brother, my mother and Dad and I lived in some very basic places.

I had a wonderful childhood. We followed my father to wherever he had a job. We lived in Somalia when I was young, and it was a wonderful place at the time. The people were friendly and life was good. I had a pair of pet cheetahs. We roughed it and I was sent to boarding school in Beirut and Nairobi – I helped in the kitchen to help with fees – and I know how hard life can be. I remember when I was twelve and coming back to school in Beirut from Mogadiscio, my sister and I had to transit through Cairo. I presented my yellow fever shot record and I had written the expiry date on the wrong line. It appeared that my yellow fever shot had expired so they kept me in quarantine. My sister went on to school leaving me alone in quarantine in Cairo for ten days. I made the most of it, met an interesting family from Djibouti, then carried on to school, with a unique experience under my belt.

We moved to Vietnam and then were evacuated out of DaNang when the Vietnam war escalated in 1964. That’s when I met Bill. We were evacuated by helicopter to Bangkok, and I met Bill while we were juniors together at the International School Bangkok.

The Heinecke’s now have the third generation going to ISB, as our two sons attended ISB, and now two of our grandchildren! I followed my Dad to Guatemala next, and had the opportunity to get a scholarship to a prestigious USA College, but needed to graduate from an American High School to qualify, so I was sent to a boarding school in Florida. Upon graduation from high school in Florida, instead of going to university, I went to Bangkok and got married! Bill sent me a plane ticket to Bangkok, and it was too tempting not to embark on another adventure in life. I didn’t go back to the US until after we were married. And everyone was entirely happy with my decision.

My life has made me confident, adventuresome, and willing to take risks. So, bearing in mind that every situation and every person is different, here is some advice to women coming to this most wonderful country – Thailand. Of all the countries in which I have travelled and lived, this is the country with the people I like the most. They are generous and kind and helpful, and if you treat them right, they will do the same for you.

Some advice to new expats in Thailand

Here are some suggestions on how to get the most out of expat living in Thailand. First, acknowledge that living in Thailand is complex, even today. If you are here short term, you will not notice quite so much how quickly people come and go. But if you stay here any length of time, your friends will leave. After living here for almost fifty years, I am the one who is left. So make friends everywhere, and enjoy what others have to share, even knowing that they may not be lifelong friends. Be comfortable with who you are. It doesn’t matter what your size or shape or age, you have to be comfortable with that. Accept that you are a size XXL here, when at home you are an S. I keep a jacket that I bought in China that is XXXXXL – that’s 5 X’s! I won’t remove the label; size is relative to where you are. Be willing to learn basic Thai. It will make your stay much more fun. And Thai people are very forgiving of mistakes that you make, and extremely flattered that you have made an effort, no matter how mangled the outcome! I suggest not to jump in on your first week in town. Listen to the language for a few months to hear the tones and the rhythm of the language. Then learn only vocabulary, don’t get hung up on the tones, you will make lots of mistakes, but that is OK. Watch TV news and cartoons. I learned a lot of Thai watching cartoons with my two sons when there were little.

When you speak, Thai people will help with what you want. Listen to them speak and eventually the tones will come. If you try to get the tones first, you will get frustrated and give up. Speak to everyone, whether in English or Thai! Bargain in the markets, but always with a smile. Talk to your driver and the guards and the secretaries. They hold the keys to your life and you need to talk to them. Your life is just so much easier when you talk to people and know who they are.

Try to create your own traditions. Remember that you are not in your native country, but traditions are something you can carry anywhere. They may not be exactly the same, but be flexible, and adapt! If you can’t have Christmas or Thanksgiving the way you did at home, then do it a new way. This year I thought to change Christmas dinner to Christmas breakfast. My granddaughter said it wasn’t right, it wasn’t the way we do things. Pick your battles. If you are single you will have battles at work, but make sure they are a high priority before you put yourself fully into them, and not just a difference in culture and perception. If you have a family, pick the things that are really important and let the rest go. Your husband travels: that’s part of his job. Concentrate on what really matters to you and your family. Be flexible. It will be worth it. Your privacy is not important to anyone but yourself! Your staff knows everything about you.
They have time to look in all the cupboards and closets. There are no secrets from them. If you don’t want them to know something, find a really secure place and lock it. Anything left lying around is fair for them to look at. This is not right, but, it will happen, accept it! I have staff that have worked for me for twenty or thirty years – in fact my laundry lady has been with me for ten years and I still introduce her as my new laundry lady – and I know that they know everything about me, but I really don’t have any serious secrets, and I would rather have it this way, than doing my own laundry.

Make your own life outside your job or your husband’s job. It’s easy to make your job your life and your life your job. Find an interest outside your immediate job and school related interests. Join some clubs, do volunteer work. I do volunteer work and work with charities. Elephant and sea turtle conservation is an ongoing passion in the family, and I worked with children after the tsunami. Education is the key to success, and I work hard to try and make sure that it is available and of a good standard to those that might not otherwise get an opportunity. Don’t wait to do something, or travel, or try a new restaurant until your husband has time to go with you. You may never go. Be an independent soul, even go alone, every experience is worth the effort. You can always learn something new, and see something exciting if you put yourself out there. It won’t happen waiting by the phone at home!

I tried working with my husband for three days but we decided it wasn’t a good idea. As it was our own start up family business, there was plenty of entertaining, and odd jobs to keep me busy, but I wanted to be independent, so I opened a coffee shop and then an art gallery – I had three locations during the Vietnam war. Then I stared doing the thing I enjoyed the most; arranging tours for the American Women’s Club, and other specialty tours on my own.

About relationships I am the middle child in my family and I am the organising force in keeping our international family connected. A son, his Thai wife, and two granddaughters live in America, another son, his American wife, and two grandchildren live here, and so does my husband’s 97 year old mother. My husband’s brother and family live in Ireland, and my brother and sister in the USA. I make a real effort to get everyone together at least every 2 years! Not an easy task, but well worth the effort.

Passing on family values does seem to ensure that the family will stay together. We taught the boys to value work and honesty. I was a bit of a flower child and not very strict with my children: I let them have the freedom to make their own ideas. They are, in turn, much more strict with theirs. Maybe it’s a generational thing, considering that my father was very strict.

My relationships with my staff are good. I recently attended the wedding of the gardener’s daughter in North Thailand. We gathered and prepared food and ate and drank. It was a wonderful party. Think what I would have missed if I wasn’t invited. On the other hand, if there is any problem with one of your staff, you are involved with that too. A funeral or an illness is something that as an employer I need to take care of. So with the weddings, and ordination ceremonies also come the funerals and hospital bills.

On Thailand

Thailand can be challenging, as I said, but it’s also wonderful. The people here give wonderful service without being subservient, they adore children and respect their elders. Children are spoiled beyond belief but they know that they will be expected to be mature and respectful in their teens. Of all the places I have lived this is where I want to be. It’s as good as it gets, here. Be interested, keep your identity, do your thing and make Thailand yours.